Peer Review and Revised Thesis Statement

After looking at two of my classmate's papers and having mine reviewed as well, I believe that I have gained a better understanding of my paper and the mistakes I made in it. One mistake I identified in my own paper after reading those of my peers, was that I did not directly cite enough of my sources. I just made statements about how studies or evidence exists instead of giving specific examples of this evidence from my sources, which causes the information in my QRG to be incomplete and therefore, not very helpful for a reader. I also found mistakes in the organization of my draft when reading those of my peers. I found that they eased the reader into their subject with background information while I just threw the reader into the deep end. This requires the reader to have prior knowledge of my topic in order to understand my QRG, which defeats the point of writing a QRG.

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I learned that some of my points are repetitive from the peer reviews of my draft. I never would have realized this if my paper had not been reviewed by my peers. This is revelation will allow me to cut out unnecessary passages of my QRG and replace them with ones that have more meaning and contribute to the paper more. It also allows me to focus on writing in a more varied style which will improve my writing in all situations.

My thesis before this process was, "Despite the efforts of governments around the world to convince the public that GMO foods are a safe way to produce more food for less cost, a majority of the public believes that GMOs are harmful to the environment and when consumed and make a concerted effort not to support their use. This conflict is exacerbated by dissenting scientific research on both sides." After the peer review process, I changed my thesis to, "Despite the assurances of governmental institutions that GMOs are a safe way to produce more food at lower prices, a majority of the public and many environmentalists believe that GMOs are harmful when consumed and are damaging to the environment."